Thank you. This article literally made me cry! I want to add this: As a victim of child sexual assault, we have a patriarchal female problem that also needs to be addressed. Women not believing women and supporting the abuser. I am fed up with their blatant disregard for abuse. A perfect example is electing an adjudicated sexual assailant into the office of president. The women in his cabinet who couldn’t wait to be by his side. It is disgusting. These are the women that do not believe women who have been abused and perpetuate the abuse. The nation can start to heal if we hold the powerful who trafficked little girls and exploited them accountable . It’s time to release all of the Epstein files; we need to appoint an independent counsel to investigate of every single perpetrator and sentence them to prison.
When we have a president who verbally abuses women on a daily basis and gets absolutely no pushback from any of the men that surround him, it is deplorable ! They are also complicit! This is how you normalize abuse!
To Krisjanis Liepe - hope you find this. Re articles you requested links to, they were both decades ago and I’m long retired and no longer have the information.
I am so sorry Krisjanis, I cannot remember. It was about 40 years ago. I was working on my Social Work degree, single mom of two little girls who were in at least two activities each, was also breeding and showing my dogs - always had at least two. Dobermans. Also of course managing my household, shopping, meals, lunches, in the shop making sure car was maintained. Putting time in their schools I was working on a paper, on a topic that was unrelated, just came across it while doing research, and did not make a note of it. At that time too no computer, so my papers were a huge deal. I truly cannot help you. I suggest you might try searching it on the internet. You know the basic topic. Do a search under that - as studies regarding single parent parent vs two parent families. It was from the ‘70’s and there were two studies done. The second one accounting for economic stays which the first one did not. Enough - I skimmed and retained the basic results.
And what's worse, those silent men think they're the good guys because they don't act like 'those guys'. If you don't say anything and confront the abuser then you're not virtuous, you're virtue signaling and are complicit. So those good guys who stand on the side lines? Take a damn seat; you're NOT one of the 'good' guys, only think you are.
The Park School in Baltimore has an excellent sex/relationship education program focused on age appropriate education beginning in elementary school. The curriculum and program already exists and could be implemented (if not for the rabid anti sex education BS that every public school has to deal with).
Deborah Roffman's book Sex and Sensibility is an excellent resource and I'm pretty sure she designed the curriculum Park uses.
I’m never sure how “sexual assault” is defined. But if it includes sexual harassment, then the data should show that 100% of women have experienced this many, many times, starting around the age of 12. It’s so common that women normalize it as just a part of being in public. I do believe that sexual assault should include sexual harassment since the harassment is always verbally or physically abusive, and it’s intended to be emotionally abusive. Even being told by a man to “smile” is a intentional reminder from that man that women exist for men’s pleasure and nothing else. It’s meant to dehumanize and to make women feel insecure or afraid. That is abuse.
The mandatory male education should include the individual's obligation to fix the culture --the need to speak up against misogyny, the need to intervene against inappropriate behavior, and ways to do it. Both for sexism and racism, I had to learn to see it, and teach myself that it was up to me in that moment, and figure out how. Years wasted!
Thank you. This article literally made me cry! I want to add this: As a victim of child sexual assault, we have a patriarchal female problem that also needs to be addressed. Women not believing women and supporting the abuser. I am fed up with their blatant disregard for abuse. A perfect example is electing an adjudicated sexual assailant into the office of president. The women in his cabinet who couldn’t wait to be by his side. It is disgusting. These are the women that do not believe women who have been abused and perpetuate the abuse. The nation can start to heal if we hold the powerful who trafficked little girls and exploited them accountable . It’s time to release all of the Epstein files; we need to appoint an independent counsel to investigate of every single perpetrator and sentence them to prison.
When we have a president who verbally abuses women on a daily basis and gets absolutely no pushback from any of the men that surround him, it is deplorable ! They are also complicit! This is how you normalize abuse!
To Krisjanis Liepe - hope you find this. Re articles you requested links to, they were both decades ago and I’m long retired and no longer have the information.
Could you at least recall the titles? Or where were they published?
I'm patient.
I am so sorry Krisjanis, I cannot remember. It was about 40 years ago. I was working on my Social Work degree, single mom of two little girls who were in at least two activities each, was also breeding and showing my dogs - always had at least two. Dobermans. Also of course managing my household, shopping, meals, lunches, in the shop making sure car was maintained. Putting time in their schools I was working on a paper, on a topic that was unrelated, just came across it while doing research, and did not make a note of it. At that time too no computer, so my papers were a huge deal. I truly cannot help you. I suggest you might try searching it on the internet. You know the basic topic. Do a search under that - as studies regarding single parent parent vs two parent families. It was from the ‘70’s and there were two studies done. The second one accounting for economic stays which the first one did not. Enough - I skimmed and retained the basic results.
That was to be, factoring in financial status of each. So - enough now!
And what's worse, those silent men think they're the good guys because they don't act like 'those guys'. If you don't say anything and confront the abuser then you're not virtuous, you're virtue signaling and are complicit. So those good guys who stand on the side lines? Take a damn seat; you're NOT one of the 'good' guys, only think you are.
I personally got a man I respected talking to me privately about issues in my behaviour. I think it was the first turning point in my change.
What a thoughtful article. Why aren’t you in office?
The Park School in Baltimore has an excellent sex/relationship education program focused on age appropriate education beginning in elementary school. The curriculum and program already exists and could be implemented (if not for the rabid anti sex education BS that every public school has to deal with).
Deborah Roffman's book Sex and Sensibility is an excellent resource and I'm pretty sure she designed the curriculum Park uses.
Brilliant article. Thanks
And this quote from it, because sadly and scarily. This is the complete and utter truth:
‘The cultural permission structure for misogyny is being rebuilt in real time, from the highest offices of power downward’
BRAVO. BRAVO, QASIM!!!
MY HERO!
MAY ALL THE ♂️ PAY ATTENTION TO THESE TRUTHS, AND ACT ACCORDINGLY!
Thank you for this article!!!
Excellent article! Very well written and so factually true.
I was beat by a partner in 1988. The cop told me it was 90 percent. Men haven't improved much in 38 years, have they?
As a multiple-time rape and domestic abuse survivor, I just want to say THANK YOU. 🙏🏼 Bless you, Qasim.
Very impressive..we need more Qasim’s speaking up.. and you are a beacon of light..
I’m never sure how “sexual assault” is defined. But if it includes sexual harassment, then the data should show that 100% of women have experienced this many, many times, starting around the age of 12. It’s so common that women normalize it as just a part of being in public. I do believe that sexual assault should include sexual harassment since the harassment is always verbally or physically abusive, and it’s intended to be emotionally abusive. Even being told by a man to “smile” is a intentional reminder from that man that women exist for men’s pleasure and nothing else. It’s meant to dehumanize and to make women feel insecure or afraid. That is abuse.
The mandatory male education should include the individual's obligation to fix the culture --the need to speak up against misogyny, the need to intervene against inappropriate behavior, and ways to do it. Both for sexism and racism, I had to learn to see it, and teach myself that it was up to me in that moment, and figure out how. Years wasted!
Thank you, Qasim. I often dream of a matriarchy. Oh the tears💧I feel seen 💜
Thank you.