Mr Rashid, the empirical data, your interpretation and analysis are staggering to say the least. As an older woman (baby boomer), I can relate through personal experience the aggressive behavior of many men in the finance and banking sector in the 1980's and 1990's. It was predatory as you indicated. I spoke quietly with a younger woman in auditing, who was two steps below me in the pecking order. She was asked on dates by coworkers and those of higher rank, none of whom asked for a second date let alone attempted a relationship. I invited her to lunch, my treat. During the meal, I advised her to refuse all in office “ dates,” not to socialize after hours with colleagues, be pleasant at work but nothing more, and that she might want to pursue another position at a different company. If she couldn't find another position, perhaps she might want to consider moving back home. I told her this was not her fault. I also said these guys are acting like a pack of dogs. Her heartbroken reply, “ They think I'm easy?” No, they are looking at you as prey. The conversation was painful for both of us. However, she said two auditors had advised her to quit and move home. Immediately, I knew to whom she was referring. Those two gentlemen were appalled at what was happening. They were the “ good guys.” They weren't comfortable in spelling out the actual problem, but their advice was spot on. Get out of here. Go home. Be safe. Thank you for this article; it's extremely important. BTW, MAGA falls into the category of “ all men.” It was probably the reason for the attraction to this personality cult.
The male ego is a fascinating little creature. Tell a man that women face widespread sexual violence, and somehow the emergency becomes his reputation. The house is on fire and he’s on the lawn explaining to the firefighters that he doesn’t even own matches. Meanwhile Brand sat through his victims’ statements clutching rosary beads, and Megyn Kelly called the verdict a travesty. Those are the people “not all men” ends up protecting, and the guys typing it in the replies never seem to notice whose team they’ve joined.
If men refused to play video games or watch movies and TV shows that feature violence against women as part of the plot, that could make a huge difference. It's too normalized.
I think we need to bring back the phrase, “dirty old man.” The Fapweasel (Trump) is on, so is Jeffrey Epstein, and now, Russell Brand. People like this must be arrested and thoroughly prosecuted. They are too dangerous to exist freely in any society.
"All the world are her children." This will stick with me for a very long time Qasim.
“Why didn’t she scream?” has a biblical pedigree. Deuteronomy 22:24 explicitly gives that reason for executing a victim of rape: “because she cried not, being in the city”.
This is so necessary, thank you for being a man who holds other men accountable. Too often abusive, aggressive, immoral, & illegal behavior is given a tacit “pass” from other men because they don't want a confrontation. How about they start thinking of the woman who doesn't want to be assaulted, when they have just consigned her to have to fight “that one inappropriate guy” alone?
Thank you for this post. This discussion needs to be widely spread if things are ever going to change. We have to do a better job of educating our children about sex and consent. It will happen when we start educating new parents on how to teach their young children starting in elementary school or even younger. Even toddlers can learn to respect others bodies. It would be ideal if this education came from the family but let's be real. It should be taught in every public and private school as well.
I demand that we men learn a painful lesson from Russel Brand and Donald Trump and realize that we should view women as fragile human beings. We need to handle them with care. As for the women who got raped by Brand or Trump or someone else, you are in my prayers. God hears your cries.
Men are NOT all rapists, nor are we misogynistic and disrespectful towards women! Many of us are also gay, myself included; the LAST thing I would ever want to do is to sexually assault ANYONE of ANY gender, so you're absolutely dead wrong here, and it's also IRRESPONSIBLE on your part to summarize all men in this way, and I find this PATENTLY OFFENSIVE.
@jrepairguy85 good to know that you’re not a rapist. Congratulations. You want us to give you a treat for that? Well… that’s not how that works around here. Not anymore it doesn’t. If you’re not willing to put in all the work and effort by holding all other men accountable for their actions against women, children and other men, then we respectfully ask you to take a tall glass of shut the fuck up and have thousands of seats all the way in the back of Madison Square Garden along with trump and company. We’re not here to play that type of game with men like you.
Offensive is you doing literally what I pointed out is male failure--centering yourself when data shows 95.1% of men have engaged in abuse of women. Shameful. Beyond shameful.
I also believe parents need to talk with both sons and daughters about the various ways to say no and discuss various different scenarios with them. Sons need to know they can say no to girls. Discuss examples of what consent looks like, what not giving consent looks and feels like. At work, I have witnessed a female sexually harassing men and so I called her out on it. If you see it, regardless of gender, call that person out. It is not okay.
WE ARE CONSIDERED PREY. PREY!
And men do not care.
Bless you, sir. You are uncannily aware. I love that about your essays. Thank you for your work.
Mr Rashid, the empirical data, your interpretation and analysis are staggering to say the least. As an older woman (baby boomer), I can relate through personal experience the aggressive behavior of many men in the finance and banking sector in the 1980's and 1990's. It was predatory as you indicated. I spoke quietly with a younger woman in auditing, who was two steps below me in the pecking order. She was asked on dates by coworkers and those of higher rank, none of whom asked for a second date let alone attempted a relationship. I invited her to lunch, my treat. During the meal, I advised her to refuse all in office “ dates,” not to socialize after hours with colleagues, be pleasant at work but nothing more, and that she might want to pursue another position at a different company. If she couldn't find another position, perhaps she might want to consider moving back home. I told her this was not her fault. I also said these guys are acting like a pack of dogs. Her heartbroken reply, “ They think I'm easy?” No, they are looking at you as prey. The conversation was painful for both of us. However, she said two auditors had advised her to quit and move home. Immediately, I knew to whom she was referring. Those two gentlemen were appalled at what was happening. They were the “ good guys.” They weren't comfortable in spelling out the actual problem, but their advice was spot on. Get out of here. Go home. Be safe. Thank you for this article; it's extremely important. BTW, MAGA falls into the category of “ all men.” It was probably the reason for the attraction to this personality cult.
Thank you for this post. It's not a free society when half the population must fear the other half.
Qasim, I am so grateful for your work.
The male ego is a fascinating little creature. Tell a man that women face widespread sexual violence, and somehow the emergency becomes his reputation. The house is on fire and he’s on the lawn explaining to the firefighters that he doesn’t even own matches. Meanwhile Brand sat through his victims’ statements clutching rosary beads, and Megyn Kelly called the verdict a travesty. Those are the people “not all men” ends up protecting, and the guys typing it in the replies never seem to notice whose team they’ve joined.
If men refused to play video games or watch movies and TV shows that feature violence against women as part of the plot, that could make a huge difference. It's too normalized.
I think we need to bring back the phrase, “dirty old man.” The Fapweasel (Trump) is on, so is Jeffrey Epstein, and now, Russell Brand. People like this must be arrested and thoroughly prosecuted. They are too dangerous to exist freely in any society.
The study focused on men 18-34. The majority admitted to using coercion to get sex. So, not just old men. Most men.
Women know this practically from birth. 😢
I stand with the victims, regardless if I may or may not know any of them by name.
"All the world are her children." This will stick with me for a very long time Qasim.
“Why didn’t she scream?” has a biblical pedigree. Deuteronomy 22:24 explicitly gives that reason for executing a victim of rape: “because she cried not, being in the city”.
No wonder Russell became a Christian.
This is so necessary, thank you for being a man who holds other men accountable. Too often abusive, aggressive, immoral, & illegal behavior is given a tacit “pass” from other men because they don't want a confrontation. How about they start thinking of the woman who doesn't want to be assaulted, when they have just consigned her to have to fight “that one inappropriate guy” alone?
Thank you for this post. This discussion needs to be widely spread if things are ever going to change. We have to do a better job of educating our children about sex and consent. It will happen when we start educating new parents on how to teach their young children starting in elementary school or even younger. Even toddlers can learn to respect others bodies. It would be ideal if this education came from the family but let's be real. It should be taught in every public and private school as well.
Yes, Miss Reilly, I agree. Get religion out of the public schools and put sex education and respect of one another's bodies back in.
I demand that we men learn a painful lesson from Russel Brand and Donald Trump and realize that we should view women as fragile human beings. We need to handle them with care. As for the women who got raped by Brand or Trump or someone else, you are in my prayers. God hears your cries.
I'm curious why you view women as fragile and need to be "handled with care".
Because they are not toys
fine… then treat us like you would a loaded firearm 🍸
Men are NOT all rapists, nor are we misogynistic and disrespectful towards women! Many of us are also gay, myself included; the LAST thing I would ever want to do is to sexually assault ANYONE of ANY gender, so you're absolutely dead wrong here, and it's also IRRESPONSIBLE on your part to summarize all men in this way, and I find this PATENTLY OFFENSIVE.
@jrepairguy85 good to know that you’re not a rapist. Congratulations. You want us to give you a treat for that? Well… that’s not how that works around here. Not anymore it doesn’t. If you’re not willing to put in all the work and effort by holding all other men accountable for their actions against women, children and other men, then we respectfully ask you to take a tall glass of shut the fuck up and have thousands of seats all the way in the back of Madison Square Garden along with trump and company. We’re not here to play that type of game with men like you.
Congratulations. You win a cookie.
@Jrepairguy85
Have you ever once found it offensive that so many women are attacked by men, and made life-alteringly uncomfortable by men? I find that offensive.
Offensive is you doing literally what I pointed out is male failure--centering yourself when data shows 95.1% of men have engaged in abuse of women. Shameful. Beyond shameful.
thank you for clarifying that and God Bless you, sir.
I also believe parents need to talk with both sons and daughters about the various ways to say no and discuss various different scenarios with them. Sons need to know they can say no to girls. Discuss examples of what consent looks like, what not giving consent looks and feels like. At work, I have witnessed a female sexually harassing men and so I called her out on it. If you see it, regardless of gender, call that person out. It is not okay.