Thank you so much for this I FULLY AGREE and I’m shocked many Muslims aren’t seeing it like this 🥹 we are empathetic because we are MUSLIM and Allah calls us to something way higher than mere retaliation 👏 Islam is meant to heal the world, and it starts with our principled consistent character, thank you again for writing this important and difficult piece ❤️🤲
Someone in my Buddhist group posted a link to this commentary. Here was the response I wrote:
Respectfully Jon, permit me some leeway to respond to Mr Rashid -
He would like us to think his words are those of an enlightened man. They are not. His hatred oozes between the words. And he wants us to think more of him because he has disguised his hate behind words of kindness and compassion.
We know he hates Mr Kirk because he sought out the worst sounding of all his quotes, and then further twists them to make them seem even worse. And by demonstrating - disingenuously - Mr Kirks evil, his own great compassion is amplified.
How many of us have checked those quotes? When he speaks of “not liking the word empathy” Kirk went on to say that he prefers the word sympathy. He suggested that the word empathy is a new age word that has lost meaning, something many people can agree with.
Kirk’s “inevitability of gun deaths” comment was analogous to the inevitability of deaths from car accidents. We choose higher highway speeds, and the increased number of deaths those speeds cause rather than lower speeds and fewer deaths.
But Mr Rashid doesn’t want anyone to mistake Charlie Kirk for a rational man with differing views. He wants to make sure that all his readers see Kirk as evil incarnate in order to emphasize the greatness of his forgiveness.
Whether you or I agree with anything Kirk said (I haven’t paid much attention to him, and what I have heard makes me not much interested in learning more), there are very many rational, kind, good people who think very highly of him. Look at the deeply sincere vigils taking place across the Country on college campuses and elsewhere and tell me that all those young people are sick, or mean, or evil simply for admiring someone who you and I disagree with.
Here is what I might suggest if you dont mind taking advice from someone like me. :-) There will be vigils in your town, on your college campus this week. Go to one. Talk freely with those you see there. Go early so you have time to get to know some of them. Ask them openly and sincerely and with curiosity why they admired Charlie Kirk. Ask them how his assassination has impacted them. How their heart feels.
I don’t think you will feel it any great or admirable effort to empathize with them and their loss. When we stand back in a defensive posture with hate in our hearts and our own anger - no matter how we disguise it - being kind to those who aren’t in our tribe can seem like a superhuman feat. Up close and personal not so much.
I hope you receive those words with the respect I intended them.
I agree, I don’t believe he’s a bad person, misguided on things we definitely disagree on sure, but a lot of people are making him out to be worst than he is, such as twisting that empathy quote or taking things out of context. I’ve watched many of his long form videos over the years and he was mostly logical and respectful, making Americans think critically about the ideologies they are exposed to every day. I don’t think it’s fair to make blanket statements on people in general, everyone is worthy of that feeling or state of empathy/sympathy - whatever semantics you want to call it - simply because we share a common humanity - even if we are poorly educated or misunderstand each other.
Someone in my Buddhist group posted a link to this commentary. Here was the response I wrote:
Respectfully Jon, permit me some leeway to respond to Mr Rashid -
He would like us to think his words are those of an enlightened man. They are not. His hatred oozes between the words. And he wants us to think more of him because he has disguised his hate behind words of kindness and compassion.
We know he hates Mr Kirk because he sought out the worst sounding of all his quotes, and then further twists them to make them seem even worse. And by demonstrating - disingenuously - Mr Kirks evil, his own great compassion is amplified.
How many of us have checked those quotes? When he speaks of “not liking the word empathy” Kirk went on to say that he prefers the word sympathy. He suggested that the word empathy is a new age word that has lost meaning, something many people can agree with.
Kirk’s “inevitability of gun deaths” comment was analogous to the inevitability of deaths from car accidents. We choose higher highway speeds, and the increased number of deaths those speeds cause rather than lower speeds and fewer deaths.
But Mr Rashid doesn’t want anyone to mistake Charlie Kirk for a rational man with differing views. He wants to make sure that all his readers see Kirk as evil incarnate in order to emphasize the greatness of his forgiveness.
Whether you or I agree with anything Kirk said (I haven’t paid much attention to him, and what I have heard makes me not much interested in learning more), there are very many rational, kind, good people who think very highly of him. Look at the deeply sincere vigils taking place across the Country on college campuses and elsewhere and tell me that all those young people are sick, or mean, or evil simply for admiring someone who you and I disagree with.
Here is what I might suggest if you dont mind taking advice from someone like me. :-) There will be vigils in your town, on your college campus this week. Go to one. Talk freely with those you see there. Go early so you have time to get to know some of them. Ask them openly and sincerely and with curiosity why they admired Charlie Kirk. Ask them how his assassination has impacted them. How their heart feels.
I don’t think you will feel it any great or admirable effort to empathize with them and their loss. When we stand back in a defensive posture with hate in our hearts and our own anger - no matter how we disguise it - being kind to those who aren’t in our tribe can seem like a superhuman feat. Up close and personal not so much.
I hope you receive those words with the respect I intended them.
Someone in my Buddhist group posted a link to this commentary. Here was the response I wrote:
Respectfully Jon, permit me some leeway to respond to Mr Rashid -
He would like us to think his words are those of an enlightened man. They are not. His hatred oozes between the words. And he wants us to think more of him because he has disguised his hate behind words of kindness and compassion.
We know he hates Mr Kirk because he sought out the worst sounding of all his quotes, and then further twists them to make them seem even worse. And by demonstrating - disingenuously - Mr Kirks evil, his own great compassion is amplified.
How many of us have checked those quotes? When he speaks of “not liking the word empathy” Kirk went on to say that he prefers the word sympathy. He suggested that the word empathy is a new age word that has lost meaning, something many people can agree with.
Kirk’s “inevitability of gun deaths” comment was analogous to the inevitability of deaths from car accidents. We choose higher highway speeds, and the increased number of deaths those speeds cause rather than lower speeds and fewer deaths.
But Mr Rashid doesn’t want anyone to mistake Charlie Kirk for a rational man with differing views. He wants to make sure that all his readers see Kirk as evil incarnate in order to emphasize the greatness of his forgiveness.
Whether you or I agree with anything Kirk said (I haven’t paid much attention to him, and what I have heard makes me not much interested in learning more), there are very many rational, kind, good people who think very highly of him. Look at the deeply sincere vigils taking place across the Country on college campuses and elsewhere and tell me that all those young people are sick, or mean, or evil simply for admiring someone who you and I disagree with.
Here is what I might suggest if you dont mind taking advice from someone like me. :-) There will be vigils in your town, on your college campus this week. Go to one. Talk freely with those you see there. Go early so you have time to get to know some of them. Ask them openly and sincerely and with curiosity why they admired Charlie Kirk. Ask them how his assassination has impacted them. How their heart feels.
I don’t think you will feel it any great or admirable effort to empathize with them and their loss. When we stand back in a defensive posture with hate in our hearts and our own anger - no matter how we disguise it - being kind to those who aren’t in our tribe can seem like a superhuman feat. Up close and personal not so much.
I hope you receive those words with the respect I intended them.
Someone in my Buddhist group posted a link to this commentary. Here was the response I wrote:
Respectfully Jon, permit me some leeway to respond to Mr Rashid -
He would like us to think his words are those of an enlightened man. They are not. His hatred oozes between the words. And he wants us to think more of him because he has disguised his hate behind words of kindness and compassion.
We know he hates Mr Kirk because he sought out the worst sounding of all his quotes, and then further twists them to make them seem even worse. And by demonstrating - disingenuously - Mr Kirks evil, his own great compassion is amplified.
How many of us have checked those quotes? When he speaks of “not liking the word empathy” Kirk went on to say that he prefers the word sympathy. He suggested that the word empathy is a new age word that has lost meaning, something many people can agree with.
Kirk’s “inevitability of gun deaths” comment was analogous to the inevitability of deaths from car accidents. We choose higher highway speeds, and the increased number of deaths those speeds cause rather than lower speeds and fewer deaths.
But Mr Rashid doesn’t want anyone to mistake Charlie Kirk for a rational man with differing views. He wants to make sure that all his readers see Kirk as evil incarnate in order to emphasize the greatness of his forgiveness.
Whether you or I agree with anything Kirk said (I haven’t paid much attention to him, and what I have heard makes me not much interested in learning more), there are very many rational, kind, good people who think very highly of him. Look at the deeply sincere vigils taking place across the Country on college campuses and elsewhere and tell me that all those young people are sick, or mean, or evil simply for admiring someone who you and I disagree with.
Here is what I might suggest if you dont mind taking advice from someone like me. :-) There will be vigils in your town, on your college campus this week. Go to one. Talk freely with those you see there. Go early so you have time to get to know some of them. Ask them openly and sincerely and with curiosity why they admired Charlie Kirk. Ask them how his assassination has impacted them. How their heart feels.
I don’t think you will feel it any great or admirable effort to empathize with them and their loss. When we stand back in a defensive posture with hate in our hearts and our own anger - no matter how we disguise it - being kind to those who aren’t in our tribe can seem like a superhuman feat. Up close and personal not so much.
I hope you receive those words with the respect I intended them.
I would distinguish between COMPASSION (which I think is what this post is actually describing, and which I absolutely agree we need to strive for) and EMPATHY (which is simultaneously more than I can muster for people like Kirk and less necessary for the kind of change we need). Loving one's enemies and always acting with justice is compassion, not empathy. Everyone deserves our *compassion* (sympathy, care, justice) by virtue of being human, but empathy is a *feeling* of identification and understanding that it's really hard (and maybe even unhealthy) to extend to people whose motives and actions are the antithesis of everything we strive for. And frankly, for the many people who saw Kirk as an inspirational Christian speaker (because apparently they were seeing very different clips than some of us were), asking *them* to have compassion (rather than empathy) for the people they see as "Others" is probably also a more reasonable ask.
Jennifer, you raise a good point -compassion belongs in this discussion, yet it's hardly been brought up. We shouldn't confuse the two - empathy and compassion are two separate aspects of caring. Humanity needs them both. And both can be very difficult.
Kirk's life and death, the public response to it, the questions that that raised, and even the discussion Qasim's article has generated are all opportunities to bring our empathy and compassion out into the light, give them a good shake, and examine them closely.
Compassion is defined as a sort of sympathetic pity for the horrible situation another finds themselves in. Empathy is much more powerful. It compels us to understand and share someone's feelings. How can we harm someone when we are experiencing their pain? It is more of a binding agent to the community than it is anything else.
All that said, I thought the writer hit home when he shared how empathy is "not dependent upon whether others behave like decent human beings—but because we are decent humans being." If we pity someone we feel sorrow for someone's situation. My empathy is by no means grief or sorrow for the man but for the family and the country.
Grateful for your thought provoking comment Jennifer.
I hope it’s ok I copy and pasted a lot of this article onto Facebook because I am originally from Alabama and am trying hard to counter the narrative with people I know. Let me know if you don’t want me to do that and I will take it down. I made my page public if you want to look. Stacy Morris DePue
I agree 100%. But I would ask that if you don't feel empathy for this man and his family, it's fine to keep it to yourself and not make the our social discourse even a teeny bit uglier.
This is such a wonderful piece. It so reflects how many of us are feeling now. I am so grateful to you for articulating it so well and reminding all of us to keep our humanity and empathy grounded, now more than ever!
Hey Gluten freedom, I just wanted to know do you have something to say to me? I received an email and I don't see any comment from you!! Anyway I heard that he was a Republican!
Thank you so very much for this Qasim. Francesca said it, “so beautifully written”.
Thank you for writing this and for sharing the importance of being a decent human being even when we feel tested to stay in our values and morals.
Thank you so much for this I FULLY AGREE and I’m shocked many Muslims aren’t seeing it like this 🥹 we are empathetic because we are MUSLIM and Allah calls us to something way higher than mere retaliation 👏 Islam is meant to heal the world, and it starts with our principled consistent character, thank you again for writing this important and difficult piece ❤️🤲
This is very well said; I am admittedly copying some to post on my channel because I couldn’t say it any better.
Someone in my Buddhist group posted a link to this commentary. Here was the response I wrote:
Respectfully Jon, permit me some leeway to respond to Mr Rashid -
He would like us to think his words are those of an enlightened man. They are not. His hatred oozes between the words. And he wants us to think more of him because he has disguised his hate behind words of kindness and compassion.
We know he hates Mr Kirk because he sought out the worst sounding of all his quotes, and then further twists them to make them seem even worse. And by demonstrating - disingenuously - Mr Kirks evil, his own great compassion is amplified.
How many of us have checked those quotes? When he speaks of “not liking the word empathy” Kirk went on to say that he prefers the word sympathy. He suggested that the word empathy is a new age word that has lost meaning, something many people can agree with.
Kirk’s “inevitability of gun deaths” comment was analogous to the inevitability of deaths from car accidents. We choose higher highway speeds, and the increased number of deaths those speeds cause rather than lower speeds and fewer deaths.
But Mr Rashid doesn’t want anyone to mistake Charlie Kirk for a rational man with differing views. He wants to make sure that all his readers see Kirk as evil incarnate in order to emphasize the greatness of his forgiveness.
Whether you or I agree with anything Kirk said (I haven’t paid much attention to him, and what I have heard makes me not much interested in learning more), there are very many rational, kind, good people who think very highly of him. Look at the deeply sincere vigils taking place across the Country on college campuses and elsewhere and tell me that all those young people are sick, or mean, or evil simply for admiring someone who you and I disagree with.
Here is what I might suggest if you dont mind taking advice from someone like me. :-) There will be vigils in your town, on your college campus this week. Go to one. Talk freely with those you see there. Go early so you have time to get to know some of them. Ask them openly and sincerely and with curiosity why they admired Charlie Kirk. Ask them how his assassination has impacted them. How their heart feels.
I don’t think you will feel it any great or admirable effort to empathize with them and their loss. When we stand back in a defensive posture with hate in our hearts and our own anger - no matter how we disguise it - being kind to those who aren’t in our tribe can seem like a superhuman feat. Up close and personal not so much.
I hope you receive those words with the respect I intended them.
I agree, I don’t believe he’s a bad person, misguided on things we definitely disagree on sure, but a lot of people are making him out to be worst than he is, such as twisting that empathy quote or taking things out of context. I’ve watched many of his long form videos over the years and he was mostly logical and respectful, making Americans think critically about the ideologies they are exposed to every day. I don’t think it’s fair to make blanket statements on people in general, everyone is worthy of that feeling or state of empathy/sympathy - whatever semantics you want to call it - simply because we share a common humanity - even if we are poorly educated or misunderstand each other.
Someone in my Buddhist group posted a link to this commentary. Here was the response I wrote:
Respectfully Jon, permit me some leeway to respond to Mr Rashid -
He would like us to think his words are those of an enlightened man. They are not. His hatred oozes between the words. And he wants us to think more of him because he has disguised his hate behind words of kindness and compassion.
We know he hates Mr Kirk because he sought out the worst sounding of all his quotes, and then further twists them to make them seem even worse. And by demonstrating - disingenuously - Mr Kirks evil, his own great compassion is amplified.
How many of us have checked those quotes? When he speaks of “not liking the word empathy” Kirk went on to say that he prefers the word sympathy. He suggested that the word empathy is a new age word that has lost meaning, something many people can agree with.
Kirk’s “inevitability of gun deaths” comment was analogous to the inevitability of deaths from car accidents. We choose higher highway speeds, and the increased number of deaths those speeds cause rather than lower speeds and fewer deaths.
But Mr Rashid doesn’t want anyone to mistake Charlie Kirk for a rational man with differing views. He wants to make sure that all his readers see Kirk as evil incarnate in order to emphasize the greatness of his forgiveness.
Whether you or I agree with anything Kirk said (I haven’t paid much attention to him, and what I have heard makes me not much interested in learning more), there are very many rational, kind, good people who think very highly of him. Look at the deeply sincere vigils taking place across the Country on college campuses and elsewhere and tell me that all those young people are sick, or mean, or evil simply for admiring someone who you and I disagree with.
Here is what I might suggest if you dont mind taking advice from someone like me. :-) There will be vigils in your town, on your college campus this week. Go to one. Talk freely with those you see there. Go early so you have time to get to know some of them. Ask them openly and sincerely and with curiosity why they admired Charlie Kirk. Ask them how his assassination has impacted them. How their heart feels.
I don’t think you will feel it any great or admirable effort to empathize with them and their loss. When we stand back in a defensive posture with hate in our hearts and our own anger - no matter how we disguise it - being kind to those who aren’t in our tribe can seem like a superhuman feat. Up close and personal not so much.
I hope you receive those words with the respect I intended them.
Someone in my Buddhist group posted a link to this commentary. Here was the response I wrote:
Respectfully Jon, permit me some leeway to respond to Mr Rashid -
He would like us to think his words are those of an enlightened man. They are not. His hatred oozes between the words. And he wants us to think more of him because he has disguised his hate behind words of kindness and compassion.
We know he hates Mr Kirk because he sought out the worst sounding of all his quotes, and then further twists them to make them seem even worse. And by demonstrating - disingenuously - Mr Kirks evil, his own great compassion is amplified.
How many of us have checked those quotes? When he speaks of “not liking the word empathy” Kirk went on to say that he prefers the word sympathy. He suggested that the word empathy is a new age word that has lost meaning, something many people can agree with.
Kirk’s “inevitability of gun deaths” comment was analogous to the inevitability of deaths from car accidents. We choose higher highway speeds, and the increased number of deaths those speeds cause rather than lower speeds and fewer deaths.
But Mr Rashid doesn’t want anyone to mistake Charlie Kirk for a rational man with differing views. He wants to make sure that all his readers see Kirk as evil incarnate in order to emphasize the greatness of his forgiveness.
Whether you or I agree with anything Kirk said (I haven’t paid much attention to him, and what I have heard makes me not much interested in learning more), there are very many rational, kind, good people who think very highly of him. Look at the deeply sincere vigils taking place across the Country on college campuses and elsewhere and tell me that all those young people are sick, or mean, or evil simply for admiring someone who you and I disagree with.
Here is what I might suggest if you dont mind taking advice from someone like me. :-) There will be vigils in your town, on your college campus this week. Go to one. Talk freely with those you see there. Go early so you have time to get to know some of them. Ask them openly and sincerely and with curiosity why they admired Charlie Kirk. Ask them how his assassination has impacted them. How their heart feels.
I don’t think you will feel it any great or admirable effort to empathize with them and their loss. When we stand back in a defensive posture with hate in our hearts and our own anger - no matter how we disguise it - being kind to those who aren’t in our tribe can seem like a superhuman feat. Up close and personal not so much.
I hope you receive those words with the respect I intended them.
Someone in my Buddhist group posted a link to this commentary. Here was the response I wrote:
Respectfully Jon, permit me some leeway to respond to Mr Rashid -
He would like us to think his words are those of an enlightened man. They are not. His hatred oozes between the words. And he wants us to think more of him because he has disguised his hate behind words of kindness and compassion.
We know he hates Mr Kirk because he sought out the worst sounding of all his quotes, and then further twists them to make them seem even worse. And by demonstrating - disingenuously - Mr Kirks evil, his own great compassion is amplified.
How many of us have checked those quotes? When he speaks of “not liking the word empathy” Kirk went on to say that he prefers the word sympathy. He suggested that the word empathy is a new age word that has lost meaning, something many people can agree with.
Kirk’s “inevitability of gun deaths” comment was analogous to the inevitability of deaths from car accidents. We choose higher highway speeds, and the increased number of deaths those speeds cause rather than lower speeds and fewer deaths.
But Mr Rashid doesn’t want anyone to mistake Charlie Kirk for a rational man with differing views. He wants to make sure that all his readers see Kirk as evil incarnate in order to emphasize the greatness of his forgiveness.
Whether you or I agree with anything Kirk said (I haven’t paid much attention to him, and what I have heard makes me not much interested in learning more), there are very many rational, kind, good people who think very highly of him. Look at the deeply sincere vigils taking place across the Country on college campuses and elsewhere and tell me that all those young people are sick, or mean, or evil simply for admiring someone who you and I disagree with.
Here is what I might suggest if you dont mind taking advice from someone like me. :-) There will be vigils in your town, on your college campus this week. Go to one. Talk freely with those you see there. Go early so you have time to get to know some of them. Ask them openly and sincerely and with curiosity why they admired Charlie Kirk. Ask them how his assassination has impacted them. How their heart feels.
I don’t think you will feel it any great or admirable effort to empathize with them and their loss. When we stand back in a defensive posture with hate in our hearts and our own anger - no matter how we disguise it - being kind to those who aren’t in our tribe can seem like a superhuman feat. Up close and personal not so much.
I hope you receive those words with the respect I intended them.
I would distinguish between COMPASSION (which I think is what this post is actually describing, and which I absolutely agree we need to strive for) and EMPATHY (which is simultaneously more than I can muster for people like Kirk and less necessary for the kind of change we need). Loving one's enemies and always acting with justice is compassion, not empathy. Everyone deserves our *compassion* (sympathy, care, justice) by virtue of being human, but empathy is a *feeling* of identification and understanding that it's really hard (and maybe even unhealthy) to extend to people whose motives and actions are the antithesis of everything we strive for. And frankly, for the many people who saw Kirk as an inspirational Christian speaker (because apparently they were seeing very different clips than some of us were), asking *them* to have compassion (rather than empathy) for the people they see as "Others" is probably also a more reasonable ask.
Jennifer, you raise a good point -compassion belongs in this discussion, yet it's hardly been brought up. We shouldn't confuse the two - empathy and compassion are two separate aspects of caring. Humanity needs them both. And both can be very difficult.
Kirk's life and death, the public response to it, the questions that that raised, and even the discussion Qasim's article has generated are all opportunities to bring our empathy and compassion out into the light, give them a good shake, and examine them closely.
Compassion is defined as a sort of sympathetic pity for the horrible situation another finds themselves in. Empathy is much more powerful. It compels us to understand and share someone's feelings. How can we harm someone when we are experiencing their pain? It is more of a binding agent to the community than it is anything else.
All that said, I thought the writer hit home when he shared how empathy is "not dependent upon whether others behave like decent human beings—but because we are decent humans being." If we pity someone we feel sorrow for someone's situation. My empathy is by no means grief or sorrow for the man but for the family and the country.
Grateful for your thought provoking comment Jennifer.
I thought it was amazing and really important
So thanks for having the courage to write it🙏🙏🫶🫶
I hope it’s ok I copy and pasted a lot of this article onto Facebook because I am originally from Alabama and am trying hard to counter the narrative with people I know. Let me know if you don’t want me to do that and I will take it down. I made my page public if you want to look. Stacy Morris DePue
What a load of crap! Who is the moron that wrote this again??
I agree 100%. But I would ask that if you don't feel empathy for this man and his family, it's fine to keep it to yourself and not make the our social discourse even a teeny bit uglier.
This is such a wonderful piece. It so reflects how many of us are feeling now. I am so grateful to you for articulating it so well and reminding all of us to keep our humanity and empathy grounded, now more than ever!
Hey Gluten freedom, I just wanted to know do you have something to say to me? I received an email and I don't see any comment from you!! Anyway I heard that he was a Republican!
You're right. One extends empathy, not because of who Kirk was necessarily, but because of who WE are.