A comment from my 11 year old son: “Everyone who was in this should get expelled. That is not right at all. I am p*ssed that this is still happening. And I’m very surprised that at an Ivy League school this is happening. And I think legal charges should be pressed. They should go to jail. This is not right at all. And everyone who’s still at that school, stay safe.”
If so inclined, can you share why you find it surprising that this happens at an Ivy League school?
If anything, protection of alumni, donors, children of alumni, upper class privilege, etc. might be elevated in these institutions. Think Justice Kavanaugh - Yale. And many others.
I propose we make a website that allows survivors to post their haunting experience, naming the perpetrators and accomplices, in this case the silent fratbros and Cornell’s involved administrators, the police, and the District Attorney, anonymously for their own safety.
To me, the risk of being wrongly named is worth taking, to empower women to take meaningful steps toward eliminating consequencesless violent assaults, and also take some control over their retribution. It’s not like being wrongly named will ruin intimacy for me, or crush my spirit or darken my whole entire world. It’s a much lower risk than our beloved women face every day.
So we need a clearinghouse that compiles survivor experiences, where people can view *all* kinds of rapists — accused, alleged, arrested, convicted, acquitted, where our women can take some direct action toward their own personal safety *and* the safety of all other women.
Why, WHY is it that some men feel they can justifiably do whatever they wish to a woman, without consequence? What would happen if the position were reversed? Perhaps all men should consider this, and teach your sons both by words and example that we all, men, women, children, elderly are worthy of being treated with dignity and respect, until proven otherwise. ( Unfortunately, we are all too aware that there are many who have abused this truth and have never been held accountable.) I worry for the future of human beings, if we are so closed minded that we cannot educate our children - heck, even our adults! - to respect one another. I thought the golden rule was universal...
There can be no peace, no understanding, if people continue to refuse to respect one another.
1.) in addition to the president of Cornell, there is a disciplinary committee, a committee to deal with Title IX, other administrators, and the fraternity undoubtedly has a faculty advisor. They all bear some responsibility, especially since it is reported online that the fraternity has had at least one major problem in the past.
2.) A local bar was serving alcohol to under-age students. Their license should be withdrawn and everyone involved disciplined.
I find it especially interesting that this happened in NY state, where I (age 75) cannot buy a bottle of cooking sherry in a grocery store without showing my driver’s license.
3.) I wonder whether the young woman has a GoFundMe or other means of helping her defray legal costs, as well as the costs of assisting her with going on with her life.
4.) The young men need assistance in learning how to become ethical and responsible adults. Here I am thinking more about the ones who were not the actual rapists, but who should have known to call the police after they saw the Snapchat message.
5.) The administrators could use some therapeutic assistance, too, after the entire administration is terminated.
This post has evolved, as such things do, since I originally wrote a version of it. I apologize if it’s lost some of its flow.
As the wife of a kind & supportive husband & dad & the mother of a son who is a wonderful son, husband & father these statistics are painful to acknowledge, but I know these are true. EVERY woman I know, which includes family, friends & myself, has suffered sexual and/or physical abuse by men. Teachers, friends, colleagues & strangers have all felt free to grab at or make sexual comments to us. Why? I don’t know. These men cannot all have been raised by abusive women. The majority must have had loving mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, or close female friends/colleagues. This did not start with trump. He is, however, the poster man for just how little regard & respect is given to women in this country because if his crimes against girls & women were taken seriously he would not have come close to the office he currently holds.
How sad is it that I (we) have to feel such immense gratitude for your coverage here which is deeply ingrained in our culture, in our institutions. I've been reading about this topic since I was in college decades ago and it was generally part of women's studies curricula too.
Perfectly said, Qasim. And instead of any nationwide action being taken, our own government is teaching the country that this crime should just be buried (sometimes LITERALLY-Zorro Ranch). And the ENTIRE GOVERNMENT is helpless to do ANYTHING about it--apparently. Cut the SHIT, United States! People are homicidally angry, in case you're all too busy counting your damn money to notice!
This is what happens when men are allowed to have their own opinions about women in general and they don’t have to listen to the women who are in their life!
This is the the result of a society where women are not only the ones who are not allowed power but also the ones who are forced to be the most responsible for their own lives.
Thank you so much for this, Qasim.
Men are the authors of their own 'loneliness epidemic'
We just can't trust you.
The dog analogy is perfect.
They only expelled two of them? Are you kidding me?
A comment from my 11 year old son: “Everyone who was in this should get expelled. That is not right at all. I am p*ssed that this is still happening. And I’m very surprised that at an Ivy League school this is happening. And I think legal charges should be pressed. They should go to jail. This is not right at all. And everyone who’s still at that school, stay safe.”
I love your son.
If so inclined, can you share why you find it surprising that this happens at an Ivy League school?
If anything, protection of alumni, donors, children of alumni, upper class privilege, etc. might be elevated in these institutions. Think Justice Kavanaugh - Yale. And many others.
If this alleged crime was indeed committed, it is a criminal matter for the police, the criminal courts, and an impaneled jury of peers to decide.
Thank you for addressing this, Qasim.
I propose we make a website that allows survivors to post their haunting experience, naming the perpetrators and accomplices, in this case the silent fratbros and Cornell’s involved administrators, the police, and the District Attorney, anonymously for their own safety.
To me, the risk of being wrongly named is worth taking, to empower women to take meaningful steps toward eliminating consequencesless violent assaults, and also take some control over their retribution. It’s not like being wrongly named will ruin intimacy for me, or crush my spirit or darken my whole entire world. It’s a much lower risk than our beloved women face every day.
So we need a clearinghouse that compiles survivor experiences, where people can view *all* kinds of rapists — accused, alleged, arrested, convicted, acquitted, where our women can take some direct action toward their own personal safety *and* the safety of all other women.
thank you.
Why, WHY is it that some men feel they can justifiably do whatever they wish to a woman, without consequence? What would happen if the position were reversed? Perhaps all men should consider this, and teach your sons both by words and example that we all, men, women, children, elderly are worthy of being treated with dignity and respect, until proven otherwise. ( Unfortunately, we are all too aware that there are many who have abused this truth and have never been held accountable.) I worry for the future of human beings, if we are so closed minded that we cannot educate our children - heck, even our adults! - to respect one another. I thought the golden rule was universal...
There can be no peace, no understanding, if people continue to refuse to respect one another.
This whole scenario just sickens me. 😔
Trying to reconstruct a previous note:
1.) in addition to the president of Cornell, there is a disciplinary committee, a committee to deal with Title IX, other administrators, and the fraternity undoubtedly has a faculty advisor. They all bear some responsibility, especially since it is reported online that the fraternity has had at least one major problem in the past.
2.) A local bar was serving alcohol to under-age students. Their license should be withdrawn and everyone involved disciplined.
I find it especially interesting that this happened in NY state, where I (age 75) cannot buy a bottle of cooking sherry in a grocery store without showing my driver’s license.
3.) I wonder whether the young woman has a GoFundMe or other means of helping her defray legal costs, as well as the costs of assisting her with going on with her life.
4.) The young men need assistance in learning how to become ethical and responsible adults. Here I am thinking more about the ones who were not the actual rapists, but who should have known to call the police after they saw the Snapchat message.
5.) The administrators could use some therapeutic assistance, too, after the entire administration is terminated.
This post has evolved, as such things do, since I originally wrote a version of it. I apologize if it’s lost some of its flow.
As the wife of a kind & supportive husband & dad & the mother of a son who is a wonderful son, husband & father these statistics are painful to acknowledge, but I know these are true. EVERY woman I know, which includes family, friends & myself, has suffered sexual and/or physical abuse by men. Teachers, friends, colleagues & strangers have all felt free to grab at or make sexual comments to us. Why? I don’t know. These men cannot all have been raised by abusive women. The majority must have had loving mothers, sisters, grandmothers, aunts, or close female friends/colleagues. This did not start with trump. He is, however, the poster man for just how little regard & respect is given to women in this country because if his crimes against girls & women were taken seriously he would not have come close to the office he currently holds.
Thank you Qasim.
How sad is it that I (we) have to feel such immense gratitude for your coverage here which is deeply ingrained in our culture, in our institutions. I've been reading about this topic since I was in college decades ago and it was generally part of women's studies curricula too.
Perfectly said, Qasim. And instead of any nationwide action being taken, our own government is teaching the country that this crime should just be buried (sometimes LITERALLY-Zorro Ranch). And the ENTIRE GOVERNMENT is helpless to do ANYTHING about it--apparently. Cut the SHIT, United States! People are homicidally angry, in case you're all too busy counting your damn money to notice!
Thank you, Qasim 💙
This is what happens when men are allowed to have their own opinions about women in general and they don’t have to listen to the women who are in their life!
This is the the result of a society where women are not only the ones who are not allowed power but also the ones who are forced to be the most responsible for their own lives.