Turning 43 Today

11 life lessons I've learned and 1 ask of you

Today I turn 43. A little more grey in my beard. A little more sorrow in my soul as this is my first birthday without my father. And a little more wisdom picked up along the way.

I’m writing to thank you all for your continued support of my advocacy for human rights and justice. As an immigrant, as someone who grew up in Section 8 housing and on food stamps, and as someone who is often screamed at online to “shut up and leave,” it’s important to me to express just how much and how deeply I value you. Your trust, partnership, and support goes such a long way, and for that I’m just so grateful.

I often reflect on the journey I’ve experienced, the path that yet lies ahead, and the insurmountable work that remains. And as I contemplate how to best move forward to meet and overcome the crucibles we face, I start by asking myself, what I would tell my 23-year-old self if I could go back in time and speak with him? And how does that advice then apply to 2025? Let’s Address This Me.

Me at 43

11 Life Lessons

I’m sure this list may change in the future with added wisdom. For now, I present the "always do" and "never do" things I would tell my younger self...and I hope you might find inspiration from it as well.

1. Always remember to cut yourself slack and lift yourself up. Plenty of folks will try to tear you down—don't join them. Be your own biggest champion because sometimes you're all you're gonna have, and you should know that you're enough.

2. Always cherish the moment, not the destination you're seeking. The destination may come, or it might not. But that moment is here and what you'll miss the most. A movie night. A laugh in class. A snowball fight. Cherish it.

3. Always say yes when a friend calls you for lunch or coffee. Always. The older you get the more you'll realize that "no" you gave was the last time you ever spoke.

4. Always pay for lunch. Don't make a big deal out of it. People remember when you do something kind that you don't have to do.

5. Never remind someone you did them a favor. No matter how small or large, do the favor because it was right to do, not because you expected some reward.

6. Always protect the privacy and dignity of your life partner. Find someone who complements you and compliments you. Someone you can be vulnerable to.

7. Always treat your children with impeccable respect, especially when they screw up. How you treat them is how they'll normalize the world treating them. If they feel respected, they'll respect others, and they'll command respect of others.

8. Never let your anger decide your decision making. Speak and act soberly. There's an old adage, "Whenever you speak, speak sweetly, so if you have to eat your words, you have a tasty treat."

9. Always act to change injustice with your actions. And if you can't, then speak out against it with your words. And if you can't, then steel yourself against its impact.

10. Always write down when you lend a friend or loved one money. Even your closest family. And even then, lend with the intent that if they can't repay you (because life happens), you'll forget about it. Cherish people more than money.

11. Always remember the difference between disappointment and regret. You can be disappointed you didn't achieve some goal despite your best efforts, but regret comes from not giving your best efforts. Live a life of conviction, committed to justice, compassion, and love—and you'll live a life of no regrets.

A shout out to my amazing wife Ayesha, without whom I cannot fathom how much of a failure I would have been. If there's anything I've written or said that you appreciate, credit goes to her. Much love to all y'all for your amazing and ongoing love and support as well!

Today I’ll make my one birthday ask of you—that you find a charitable organization of your choice, preferably local or perhaps one serving the people of Gaza (I donate to Humanity First)—and contribute whatever is in your budget.